How I Saved the Horses (And Destroyed the English Language)

I was inspired by Sarah Ross's recent post detailing the writings of her childhood, and it, in conjunction with my poetry group's decision to focus on childhood and imagination, caused me to reflect on my own youth.  I was a strange child.  I recently told my poetry group a story of my rebellious preschool days when I tried to play house with the mean girls in my class.  They claimed that I could only play with them if I was the maid.  Enraged by this injustice, I proceeded to steal all of the plastic food from their refrigerator.  I then believe I sulked in a corner with the stolen food.

After reliving this... interesting... memory, I remembered that, at the age of 6, I wrote a story titled "HOW I SAVD thE horSES."  That is the title as I wrote it.  I have just pulled the original manuscript from one of my desk drawers, and will now relive my childhood mind.

Page 1:
"ones me and my horse were in the feild a person walked up and lookd at my horse when I got back from getting ots for my horse... my horse wus gone!"
-Nice use of suspense and indirect characterization, 6-year-old Sarah.

Page 2:
"then I heard a whinny a soft whinny my horse I w up and down steets as I did it got louder this wusent a horse this wus horses."
-Once again, suspense takes prevalence as a literary device.

Page 3:
"It led me to a place made of logs I broke in thar were horses evrywhere and a man with a injecjun tube that had drugs wu tryIing to injekt my horse"
-OK, now I am slightly concerned.  Who is this man, why does he have an "injection tube," and why is he targeting the horse of a six year old girl?  Is this more suspense?

Page 4:
"I was so mad that i opend the door and let the horses go then I took my horse by the neck and kicked the man"
 -OK, 6-year-old Sarah, we need to talk.  You need some basic lessons in self-defense.  I appreciate you freeing the horses, really, but when you are in the presence of a strange drug-pushing man, you get the hell out of there no matter how much you want to kick him while strangling your horse.

Page 5:
"I took my horse home an went back I hit the man and tryed to konck him ovre but it didnt work"
-Did you not listen to me?  Escape the drug pusher!  Don't try to overwhelm him with your 6-year-old strength!  Of course it didn't work, you probably weigh forty pounds!

Page 6:
"I jabd the injejn nedl in to him he let out a howl and cold for his ajent Bily"
-Sarah, you are about to get yourself thrown in jail.  This is no longer self-defense.  You are openly assaulting a grown man who is probably afraid to defend himself because a crazy first grader has invaded his home and returned on several occasions to further injure him.

Page 7:
"Bily brst in I tryd to get him b sodly with a clik I was trapd!"
-I don't know what just happened.  Is this more suspense?

Page 8:
"I herd thme wispr then I sol my cat he wus goying to injet her so di la bred came and gave me the key I wus free I savd my cat and went home."
-The end?  What is with all of this deus ex machina?  Where did your cat come from?  What or who is "di la bred" and why would he/she/it give you the key?  Furthermore, why would these men want your cat?  Are they horse/drug traffikers, or do they just like testing drugs on animals?

I have never been so confused in my life.

this is what every page looked like...